Feeling Glump.

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I have been feeling a little glump.

Usually I’m very positive and I can snap back into my happy, motivated mood pretty quickly. However, lately I just felt so drained. Every morning I wake up feeling exhausted. I leave work feeling tired and sore. I can’t wait to put my children to sleep so I can have some time of my own, but then there’re clothes to be folded, dishes to be washed, mess to be cleared. I have not spoken to my spouse for a long time (mainly because he works late too).

I want to take a day off but things are crazy in the office as my colleague is on long leave. I want to stay fit and healthy but I just can’t seem to find time. The worst thing is, I know everyone feels the same, it’s not like anyone in the family do less. We all have responsibility, we all have our wants and needs, and it’s not just me.

I need something, visually or experiential to convince myself that my problems aren’t problems if I look at the bigger scale of things; and to remind myself that life is good, that things could be worse.

Image by Anike Shahane 

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4 years ago today.

4 years…

It took me 4 years to realize that you’re one of a kind, simply because you’re a mirror of myself & your dada, combined.

It took me 4 years to realize that you’re somewhat timid, yet when it comes to the fun stuff, you’re fearless.

It took me 4 years to see that you’re a very sensitive boy, full of emotion and therefore sometimes incapable of controlling it.

It took me 4 years to realize that you have great empathy, just when I broke down and cry when you’re in so much pain having contracted HFMD, you stop crying and put your hands around my face and tell me it’s going to be okay.

It took me 4 years to know that you’re very creative, full of imagination and enthusiasm, maybe you didn’t know but your eyes sparkle when you talk about dinasours and loaders and construction site.

It took me 4 years to accept that you’re a late bloomer (just like your dad), but deep down I know you’ll get there (just like Arlo).

It took me 4 years to realize that I sometimes coddles you a little too much (because you were my first born), just because I don’t want you to grow up too fast…

Be it your strength or your flaws, it’s my duty to guide you to be better in life. Happy 4 years old my dear baby boy, you mean the world to me (even sometimes I’m so freakin’ mad at you). Forgive me for my ineptitude, for I am still learning to be a better mom for you & your little sister.

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{Till date, I still snick into his room and plant little kisses on his face while he’s asleep. }

Too cute to be angry.

img_20161007_174309We went to pick up JH’s first pair of glasses immediately after we came back from HK. As much as we’re pretty bum about him needing to wear his glasses so young, he’d receive so much compliments on FB from friends & family! Hubbs said that ‘its as if God made his face to wear glasses’. I literally LOL. Haha.

So the other day after school, he somewhat was particularly whiny + moody, so I got angry and gave him a earful. But during the whole time, as I was scolding him, I can felt my heart melts into a mush of love. Why? Because he’s so darn cute with that pair of glasses!!! Especially when his tears start to stream and stayed at the rim of the glasses.

Seriously I have trouble holding myself from hugging & cuddling him, but of course I kept a straight face. Of course he apologies and I sent him to bed. An hour later, I crept into him room and give him a goodnight kiss on the forehead.

Better not let him see this, if not he’ll hold my emotion for ransom. Hah!