Loving and Loathing.

IMG_20170721_131642_465These morning for the past week have been difficult. Hubbs and I weren’t getting enough sleep. We’re tired, grouchy and when it was topped with a whiny, grumpy  kid who refused to get ready for school (especially when you know you’re going to be shit late if you don’t leave the house in 10 mins)… the house was infused with explosion of bickering, shouting, tears, and we end up ruin the morning (and our mood). Sigh.

I know he’s a good kid; compassion, friendly, kind and funny, but I have to admit that I have the whiniest kid, who would argue and negotiate his way out of all the things that I’ve instructed him to do. If he doesn’t win the negotiation, Boom!, he become this really irritable person that’s just unbearable sometimes. While I know he’s at the development stage of experimenting with boundaries and rules (especially we just sent him to a more discipline-oriented kindergarten), I don’t want to do a crappie job in setting the foundation of his attitude and personality.

…and then this morning, amidst our chaotic rush where hubbs need to attend a really really important event, this guy insist to finish his Lego truck. I heard myself nag & growl andin response he defy and insist he wants to complete building this truck. And he did, just right before we dash out the door. (Double) sigh.

Then I drop him off to school, he left the truck in the car. Then I drove to office and park my car. Then I took a good minute and observe this ‘truck’ that almost made me lose my shit this morning. Suddenly, all the angst, frustration is gone. I’m so in awe with this truck that he made. It’s proportion, symmetry not to mention the colours… I’m so proud of him!

(Triple) Sigh… the struggle is REAL. It’s parenthood, sometimes you loathe it and sometimes things like this just makes you all mushy. As our good friend Madam Lu said: ‘Tis’ the season of (parenting) life’.

P.S.: (I still love him to bits.)

 

 

 

Precious time in Kuching.

Last weekend, we travel to Cat City, mainly to visit, as hubby describe: ‘Favourite person on earth, probably the entire Galaxy – our dearest Madam Lu. We were there for 2.5 days and gladly we spend it mostly with her and her family. Ohhh, we also manage to pay a visit to a dear friend’s cake house, check out her amazing sweet savoury here.

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If there’s one thing to describe our relationship with Mdm Lu, its: You don’t have to be related by blood to be family, Love is enough.

Need a break.

20170604_125831Lately, work has consumed so much of me. Im constantly on my outlook, trello, CAD, 3dMax, Revit while running in between training, meetings and site walk. I don’t even have time to blog anymore. Today, I decide, work can wait 10 mins, I just want to write something that cheer me up.

I want to write about things that enchant my 2 little ones, things them makes them exhilarate and really really happy in general:
For JH (age 4 yr 9 mo) :

  • Family time (basically everyone including me, hubbs, JN and himself lounging together in the living room)
  • Photos of himself or his sister
  • When he get to sleep on our bed
  • Having the same food together, on the sofa
  • Having a diaper cloth pinned over his back as a cape so he can be ‘Darth Vader’
  • Watching Star Wars
  • When the sky turns grey
  • Eating Candy
  • Listening to Randy Newman’s ‘The Time of Your Life’.
  • Whenever we do imaginary play with him.
  • Encounter any construction machinery

For JN (age 1 yr 1 mo) :

  • Basically any food that you shove into her tiny mouth
  • When dada’s home. (She started boucing as soon as he opens the door.)
  • When you sing to her.
  • Massage time after bath (Well i guess every baby loves that).
  • Ransacking her brother’s school bag

I want to always remember this part of parenting – seeing a different magical world through my kids’ eyes.; that you don’t need a lot to be happy…
Now… back to work!

 

 

Juhann’s Canvas.

Over the weekend, we’ve decided to document some interesting art pieces produced by our eldest… Everyday, he never fail to amaze me with his creativity & wild imagination: My hair clip is a “crocodile with a big mouth trying to eat my hair’; Put 2 tiny buckets filled with water and voila, it’s a ‘rotating cement mixer’, a little towel clipped on the back of his shirt is a makeshift cape (as he pretends to be Darth Vader’)… I know in time, his imagination will wear out, as he slowly grow up to be a man, therefore I’m keeping this precious moments here in this blog and here. Do visit!

Happy Father’s Day.

To our favourite play-mate, awesome Lego builder, human seesaws (JLB knows what that means), chauffeur/transporter, the (occasional) sitter, bedtime singer, outdoor explorer, the ‘抱抱’ provider, professional toy fixer and ‘the one who knows everything’ (according to JWB), and not forgetting the one person who always taught us to always put Mommy first in everything that we do, HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! Thank you for being our Superhero Dada!

Love you Always JWB & JLB.

Happy 1st Birthday, Junna.

IMG_20170614_091554_146Happy Hatch Day my baby Junna! It felt surreal that you’ve been with us for the last 365 days when I feel like it was just yesterday I gave birth to this little pea. I never thought that I would love another baby as much as my first born, then she came around, quiet, calm, dainty and with her four-tooth grin and her gigling smiles, I fell in love all over again.

It’s been an amazing 365 days Junna, thank you for making our world so much better.

CONVERSATION WITH JH.

IMG_20170529_180426_697The other night I hang around JH’s room. He was playing Lego on the floor, I was ordering Tesco online on his bed.

JH: Approach me and say “ohh mommy I want this one” (Just so happen I was on the savoury snack section)
Me: “ok sure, give me a kiss first” (Mostly I will have to begged him for it.)
JH: Proceed to kiss me simultaneously on the right cheek. “The other side mommy…” Proceed to kiss left cheek like a woodpecker.

Then he continued to play his lego on the floor and utter…”I love you mommy, I love you so much.”

Me: (-_-)” He would sold his soul for food if he could.

 

Life Goal at 30.

IMG_20170428_143252_818As I enter year 2017, I made a little resolution that I promise to achieve before I turn 30. I didn’t wrote it down (like the years before), simply because I’m not sure I can achieve it. Call me timid but life has been twice the insanity since our offspring doubled. Haha… Since I turned 30 last week and I had manage to achieve most of these little personal goals, I thought I’d write it down here…

Go to Gym at least 3 times a week.
At first, waking up at 6:15am seems to be so darn hard, but as the days goes by, I think the body has found its way to adjust its biological clock, and soon, I find myself wakes up at 5:45am sometimes to hit the gym. The main reason I went to the gym was to keep myself healthy, and after 4 months without knowing it, I realized my back pain has gone (I had this pain when I first deliver baby JN last year), and to my surprise I manage to fit into all my pre-pregnancy jeans and pants! I felt immense joy, really.

Sleep train baby JN.
If you’ve ready my previous post, I have mentioned that hubbs and I did not rush into it as she’d most probably be our last baby. She pass this process with flying colours! Since then, we don’t need to worry about putting her to sleep at all or even who’s putting her to sleep when both hubbs and I were away to Ho Chi Minh city.

Night training JH.
We started night training JH early this year and it turns out to be quite manageable. I won’t deny the first few weeks were hard, hubbs and I took turn to wake him up to pee, and sometimes we overslept and he’d just wet his bed (at one time he even pooped!). But as times goes by, we manage to predict and control his pee time – 12/1am before the hubbs goes to sleep and 5/6am when I wake up to go to the gym. We had this good rhythm for awhile and last week, my little boy woke up, went in my room and told me that he had to pee at 4am in the morning. Since then, he would magically wakes up and tell us he has to pee. I’ve also realized that he is able to hold it longer and only pee when he wakes up around 7/8am in the morning. Needless to say, I am so so proud of him!

Reduce: Waste & Plastics.
I’ve been following several bloggers and articles on their journey to ReduceWaste, ‘Sustainability’ and ‘Life without Plastics’. Turns out there are a lot of ways we can make a difference in safeguarding Mother Earth. I start to be conscious when I went grocery shopping, keeping in mind to stay away from produce that incur lots of plastic packaging. I’m not all out to turn my life upside down achieve ‘ZeroWaste’, but I know I can make a difference and I should cultivate the same value to my kids, because Everyone needs to engage their little personal commitment to live a little lighter on our planet.

Minimize and Simplify.
For the longest time, hubbs and I always have a soft spot for small home. Even when we can afford it, we just never really crave for a big house. Now raising our kids from 750 sqf apartment to our current one of 1050 sqf, we have since started our minimalist adventure and through minimizing and simplifying, we’re slowly transforming our home into a cocoon that are nurturing, comforting and calming for our little growing family. We are not 100% there yet but I hope we’re close. Having a space that are not cluttered with unnecessary junk and materials provide us the space that enable us to transform ordinary moments to precious memories. It is at this age that I truly realize the meaning of Less is indeed ‘More’ and Simple is indeed ‘Ethereal’.

{Her milk, his milk, our coffee on a typical Saturday morning.}

Last night’s incident.

IMG_20170427_074021_387The cutest thing about my first born is that he will always pick a toy to go to bed with him (every night he will make his pick, whether it’s a fire truck, cement truck, a bike or just any vehicle/transport toys). When I started to accompanying him to sleep, I made it a point that he would put the toys aside and have little conversation with me. The last few days, he’d been glued to the new LEGO helicopter fire rescue series that his kaiye bought for him, especially the fire rescue bike. So obviously he’s been bringing it to bed with him. Last night, while tugging him to sleep… Told him to put the fire rescue bike away first if he wants me to sleep with him.

JH: “but he needs love!”
Me: Don’t care, it’s either you choose the bike or mommy.
JH: …puts it away… and said: “I need to hug mommy first, after that I will come hug you ok?”
Me: {went all mushy… }

 

 

Turning 30.

IMG_20170420_163422_782Today, I turn 30, I’m officially categorize under ‘Aunty’s Club.’ Hahha.

I woke up, took a shower and made breakfast. Then I checked on JH, who’s been under the weather since a week ago. So, yeah, you can say I wasn’t feeling too excited about it, plus in our family we don’t celebrates birthday in a big bashy way. But nonetheless I’m so grateful for this particular day. I’m grateful for:

My mom… who’s always been my go-to when I need advice on financial, career, tax matters… LOL! . Thank you for always putting me and my family as your priority. Thank you for showing your everlasting love and care for us in unimaginable ways.

My parents-in-law… who’s so fit and healthy, taking care of our meals, daily chore, and our two tiny human being. Thank you for showering them with so much love, they could not have a better  嬷嬷 & 爷爷.

My hubbie… whom I can’t imagine living without. Who else’s gonna annoy the hell out of me? Just kidding. 😛 Thank you for standing by my side through this years, surely it wasn’t a bed of roses all the way, but through it all, we’ve grown to be stronger, wiser and better. I want to start living ‘the good old days’ with you right now, so when we’re old, toothless and hairless sitting next to each other in our rocking chair, we can look back and know that we have truly lived.

My Juju bey… whom don’t cease to fall sick on my birthdays. As if you have not crave for my attention on normal days, you just got to throw a big one on my big day…. (joking). I love you to the moon and back my baby boy. You might not be the loudest, toughest boy, but you have such a big heart for compassion and kindness. Please always stay this way.

My darling baby Junna…whom I have only one word to describe: Happiness. Your gleaming smile and demeanor attitude makes it such a joy to be around. You’re easy going, easily contented and mostly just a ball of overloaded cuteness. I am so blessed to be your guardian, to be your life teacher, and mostly to be the person whom you call ‘mommy’ (hopefully soon…:P).

My best friends, May & Sin Yee… whom I don’t get to see very often now. I miss our teenage times when we have so little responsibility and so much time for ourselves to discover the world. As we step into adulthood, our priorities change. But one thing I know for sure: My life will never be complete without you guys; just knowing that I will always have you guys at the back of my mind is good enough.

You know how the internet often shovel you with article, videos and even comic strips on how your life transform when you turn 30, or why life is better when you’re 30 instead of 20, or even how to excel in your 30s… etc. For me, 30 felt like an age where I should have it firmly together. Instead of ‘testing ground’, I should ‘know it better’. I hope I am better, my role as wife, mother, daughter, friend, supervisor, employee… amongst many others.

Thank you everyone who had made a difference in my 30 years of life. 🙂