Upon hearing our dear friend’s sis passing, I was caught at a situation where I have to share and explain the news to JH, since he knows our dear friend. He said: “It’s okay, I can share my sister with aunty Jody, then she’ll have a sister again.” I shed a tear. I gave him a big tight hug. He might not know the true meaning of life and death but his heart of gold makes me so proud to be his Mama! This boy’s compassion is through the roof!
If only we can share our loved ones…
The festive week had passed and we’ll be back to work/school tomorrow. During this whole week where I’m with the kids 24/7, I’ve noticed behavioral issues, especially with JH. He’s constantly ignoring our instruction, talk back, whines and complain about Every.Single.Thing. My irritation towards my him have reached a record high. I just feel so defeated all the time.
About a year ago, we’ve come to realized that he’s a sensitive kid and we’ve been cautiously telling ourselves that we need to customize our parenting to suit his expressive emotional behavior. Clearly, not being strict enough seems to be the root cause of all that awful behavior now. The worse thing is his little sister is imitating all those bad manners/action and it just drives my nuts! Both of them are very blessed in that they haven’t had many stresses or struggles in their life. And I’ve beginning to think JH is at the age where he needs to understand that he can’t take things for granted. He needs to earn it, whether it’s TV time, toys, play time or anything that he desires. That’s when I realized I need to pull my shit together and be a better parent if I want to raise them up as solid, reliable, well-grounded and capable kids.
I do not want to give excuses for his sensitive-ness for bad behaviour. That’s why I’ve decided to stop coddling him. Tough love it is for him as much as it breaks my heart sometimes. I’m worried if I don’t correct him now, it’ll be too late. The last thing we want is to let his sensitivity and emotional baggage kept him away from all the lost opportunity.
Things finally got better at the end of the day when hubbs told me he had finally passed his swimming exam to advance to the next level (after 15 months!). It gave me a vision of the lights at the tunnel somehow. And I finally realized how much effort I need to invest in my kids to ensure they are brought up well into fine person.
Bitter. Sweet. Boiling temper. Melted heart. This parenting thing is so bloody tricky.
Happy new year!
We had been busy catching up with friends and spending time with the family. My kids are now aged 6.5 & 2.5 year now I feel these are the best years yet! Though they bicker/fight/argue a lot (like every 5 mins), I told myself to cherish these moments before it slipped by.
JH just enter Primary 1 and all are new and charming to him. He’s been conversing a lot of interesting topic and thoughts, though we’re still figuring out ways to manage his sensitivity. But all in all, he’s a bright & lovely kid.
Surprisingly, he did pretty okay with his first week at school. No tears, no tantrums and rejection. In fact, I had taken a day off on the first day of school, he’s assured me that he doesn’t need me to be there. When I keep asking him if he knows which gate to go to after school to wait for his transported, his response was: “I know mommy, you’ve said that many times already!”.
D1 – he forgot to bring out his snacks that we prepare for him during break time.
D2 – he forgot to pass the immunization form to his class teacher.
D3 – he forgot to bring his shoes down, as he was pressing the lift button for me. Also this day, we wrote a ‘to do list’ & stick it in his pencil box., so that he’ll remember to: 1. pass the immunization form to his class teacher; 2. show the receipt of the books that I have already purchased to teacher; 3. bring out his food during snack time.
Junna started potty training on 24/11/2018. She started slow, as we weren’t home much. So after a few weeks of hit & miss, on 15/12/2018m she successfully peed 7 times in the potty all by herself! I was really taken by surprise. Started diaper-less at school on 2/9/2018. Gah…. they really are growing up fast!
Little things that I want to ingrain in my memory:
- Eating fruits together on our wooden floor. I will feed them alternatively while they play/chat/read.
- Lullaby songs (sound track include:
- Bed time stories.
- Family hugs.
- When both of them kiss me good night on the cheeks together.
- Putting hair gel/powder on like it’s a big thing.
This year, I want to do more of the above and add on the list. I also want to spend more one on one time with each of them so they’re able to get our undivided attention. I try to see pass the everyday bickering/whinging/fighting/shouting and soak in all the other sweet moments instead. I particularly remember one Saturday rainy evening and the kids went cycling/scooting at the covered courtyard at our condo. Moments like this is so rare and magical and my heart grew SO big watching them playing together.
I’m not gonna lie. First stint of being a full-time working parents, I felt like everything is falling apart. Work’s deadline, mining a pet project, juggling a new daily routine with the kids, scheduling and more scheduling. All hell broke loose when Junna fell sick, then Ju-Hann. I just felt overwhelming at the moment. Then I browse through the photos in my mobile phone and it hit me. I choked up. These babies of mine are no longer babies. I need to focus on life instead of being petulant about it. I recollect myself and I press the restart button and remind myself: I’m so ehhfing blessed to have these two in my life.
Yesterday was Selangor’s PH, so hubbs brought along our eldest to drop me off at work. As usual, the little one get super excited as soon as he steps into my office, (he have a thing of going to mommy’s and dada’s work place). The whole 3o minutes he was there, he can’t stop babbling and asking questions to fellow gor gor, ceh ceh and uncles (my colleagues).
Things he does include:
- Walking up and down the staircase
- Swing his feet by the mezzanine floor
- Looking at the finishes in the studio
- Got uncle Keith to draw him a Darth Vader and a Batman
- Asking for food and drinks.
- Exploring the gigantic plotter printer
It’s so good to have a good dose of happiness before I start my day at work!
For as long as I can remember, we had taught JH to say a prayer before he goes to sleep when he are able to speak in sentence. It started with “Dear God, please bless dada, mommy, JH to be happy & healthy, amen.” (We did ask him to add JN in the prayers after her birth). Then he starts school and we start getting complains from teacher about his mischievous act and we made him add a second prayer: “Dear God, please bless JH to be a good boy, amen.” Unless he’s not well, it’s been a tiny little routine that he does every single night before he goes to sleep. (Apart from making sure he choose a toy to sleep with him every night 😂).
But tonight, I made him says a 3rd prayer, saying thanks for his little cousie who came all the way from New Zealand, also made him promise God that he will be kind and gentle and share his toys with little Ru. Soon after he said: ‘Mommy, I want to see God, how come we never see God before?’ For a moment, I was stunned and speechless. My mind was scrambling trying to come out with simple explanation about how God look like and where He lives and why we are not able to see Him because He’s beyond greatness etc… I briefly explains that God is a whole lot bigger than us human and therefore He lives in heaven where its vast and huge therefore prohibits us from being able to see Him. But He lives within us and provide us every day with invisible things like power & strength such as for the construction worker to build the skyscraper; for the forklift truck to lift the heavy loads; for the road roller to built skyways and roads. (I have to use construction related materials as that’s his favourite thing in the world, apart from dinosaurs). He nodded indicating that he understand, though I can sense he was a tad disappointed knowing that he can’t meet God.
My dear JH, mommy and dada might not appear to be an enthusiastic temple or church goer, but we are a believer in God. It is with God’s grace that we have you, and your little sister, our family, a roof above our head and so much other abundance that filled our life along the way. Your name JH in fact means ‘God is gracious’ in Hebrew. We want you to know that all religion promotes good values, kindness and grace. We want you to respect the differences of each human being whether it’s race, religion or culture. Hopefully you will grow up one day, learning the ways of God and be the good you want to see in this world.
This happens couple weekends ago where all 3 of us enjoyed the garden below our condo all by ourselves. It was quiet, except it was filled with giggling and yapping sound from my 5 year old; while my one year old explore grass for the very first time…
The last pic had me weeping with gratitude and joy.
I had been working really hard for the past couple of weeks, simply because most of the projects are kicking in all at the same time. Each projects requires meeting(s), that proceeds to tonnes of coordination, that leads to loads of drawings/design that needs to be churned out. I was exhausted.
Then 2 days ago, our eldest boy woke up and started to puke. He was unwell, down with cough, fever and flu. Seeing him so weak and helpless, I knew I need to put all my work behind and focus on him. I remind myself that my family comes first and that work could wait.
And so hubbs and I take turns to take care of him and it felt good to be detach from my work and focus on my kid. With a sick kid, comes with lots of chores, your laundry time and cleaning time doubled (to ensure disinfectant is done regularly), especially after a few puking incident.
Its days like this makes me appreciate my time with them even more. It’s times like this I crave for a slower, simpler life even more.
These morning for the past week have been difficult. Hubbs and I weren’t getting enough sleep. We’re tired, grouchy and when it was topped with a whiny, grumpy kid who refused to get ready for school (especially when you know you’re going to be shit late if you don’t leave the house in 10 mins)… the house was infused with explosion of bickering, shouting, tears, and we end up ruin the morning (and our mood). Sigh.
I know he’s a good kid; compassion, friendly, kind and funny, but I have to admit that I have the whiniest kid, who would argue and negotiate his way out of all the things that I’ve instructed him to do. If he doesn’t win the negotiation, Boom!, he become this really irritable person that’s just unbearable sometimes. While I know he’s at the development stage of experimenting with boundaries and rules (especially we just sent him to a more discipline-oriented kindergarten), I don’t want to do a crappie job in setting the foundation of his attitude and personality.
…and then this morning, amidst our chaotic rush where hubbs need to attend a really really important event, this guy insist to finish his Lego truck. I heard myself nag & growl andin response he defy and insist he wants to complete building this truck. And he did, just right before we dash out the door. (Double) sigh.
Then I drop him off to school, he left the truck in the car. Then I drove to office and park my car. Then I took a good minute and observe this ‘truck’ that almost made me lose my shit this morning. Suddenly, all the angst, frustration is gone. I’m so in awe with this truck that he made. It’s proportion, symmetry not to mention the colours… I’m so proud of him!
(Triple) Sigh… the struggle is REAL. It’s parenthood, sometimes you loathe it and sometimes things like this just makes you all mushy. As our good friend Madam Lu said: ‘Tis’ the season of (parenting) life’.
P.S.: (I still love him to bits.)
Lately, work has consumed so much of me. Im constantly on my outlook, trello, CAD, 3dMax, Revit while running in between training, meetings and site walk. I don’t even have time to blog anymore. Today, I decide, work can wait 10 mins, I just want to write something that cheer me up.
I want to write about things that enchant my 2 little ones, things them makes them exhilarate and really really happy in general:
For JH (age 4 yr 9 mo) :
- Family time (basically everyone including me, hubbs, JN and himself lounging together in the living room)
- Photos of himself or his sister
- When he get to sleep on our bed
- Having the same food together, on the sofa
- Having a diaper cloth pinned over his back as a cape so he can be ‘Darth Vader’
- Watching Star Wars
- When the sky turns grey
- Eating Candy
- Listening to Randy Newman’s ‘The Time of Your Life’.
- Whenever we do imaginary play with him.
- Encounter any construction machinery
For JN (age 1 yr 1 mo) :
- Basically any food that you shove into her tiny mouth
- When dada’s home. (She started boucing as soon as he opens the door.)
- When you sing to her.
- Massage time after bath (Well i guess every baby loves that).
- Ransacking her brother’s school bag
I want to always remember this part of parenting – seeing a different magical world through my kids’ eyes.; that you don’t need a lot to be happy…
Now… back to work!