Loving and Loathing.

IMG_20170721_131642_465These morning for the past week have been difficult. Hubbs and I weren’t getting enough sleep. We’re tired, grouchy and when it was topped with a whiny, grumpy  kid who refused to get ready for school (especially when you know you’re going to be shit late if you don’t leave the house in 10 mins)… the house was infused with explosion of bickering, shouting, tears, and we end up ruin the morning (and our mood). Sigh.

I know he’s a good kid; compassion, friendly, kind and funny, but I have to admit that I have the whiniest kid, who would argue and negotiate his way out of all the things that I’ve instructed him to do. If he doesn’t win the negotiation, Boom!, he become this really irritable person that’s just unbearable sometimes. While I know he’s at the development stage of experimenting with boundaries and rules (especially we just sent him to a more discipline-oriented kindergarten), I don’t want to do a crappie job in setting the foundation of his attitude and personality.

…and then this morning, amidst our chaotic rush where hubbs need to attend a really really important event, this guy insist to finish his Lego truck. I heard myself nag & growl andin response he defy and insist he wants to complete building this truck. And he did, just right before we dash out the door. (Double) sigh.

Then I drop him off to school, he left the truck in the car. Then I drove to office and park my car. Then I took a good minute and observe this ‘truck’ that almost made me lose my shit this morning. Suddenly, all the angst, frustration is gone. I’m so in awe with this truck that he made. It’s proportion, symmetry not to mention the colours… I’m so proud of him!

(Triple) Sigh… the struggle is REAL. It’s parenthood, sometimes you loathe it and sometimes things like this just makes you all mushy. As our good friend Madam Lu said: ‘Tis’ the season of (parenting) life’.

P.S.: (I still love him to bits.)

 

 

 

Need a break.

20170604_125831Lately, work has consumed so much of me. Im constantly on my outlook, trello, CAD, 3dMax, Revit while running in between training, meetings and site walk. I don’t even have time to blog anymore. Today, I decide, work can wait 10 mins, I just want to write something that cheer me up.

I want to write about things that enchant my 2 little ones, things them makes them exhilarate and really really happy in general:
For JH (age 4 yr 9 mo) :

  • Family time (basically everyone including me, hubbs, JN and himself lounging together in the living room)
  • Photos of himself or his sister
  • When he get to sleep on our bed
  • Having the same food together, on the sofa
  • Having a diaper cloth pinned over his back as a cape so he can be ‘Darth Vader’
  • Watching Star Wars
  • When the sky turns grey
  • Eating Candy
  • Listening to Randy Newman’s ‘The Time of Your Life’.
  • Whenever we do imaginary play with him.
  • Encounter any construction machinery

For JN (age 1 yr 1 mo) :

  • Basically any food that you shove into her tiny mouth
  • When dada’s home. (She started boucing as soon as he opens the door.)
  • When you sing to her.
  • Massage time after bath (Well i guess every baby loves that).
  • Ransacking her brother’s school bag

I want to always remember this part of parenting – seeing a different magical world through my kids’ eyes.; that you don’t need a lot to be happy…
Now… back to work!

 

 

Happy 1st Birthday, Junna.

IMG_20170614_091554_146Happy Hatch Day my baby Junna! It felt surreal that you’ve been with us for the last 365 days when I feel like it was just yesterday I gave birth to this little pea. I never thought that I would love another baby as much as my first born, then she came around, quiet, calm, dainty and with her four-tooth grin and her gigling smiles, I fell in love all over again.

It’s been an amazing 365 days Junna, thank you for making our world so much better.

CONVERSATION WITH JH.

IMG_20170529_180426_697The other night I hang around JH’s room. He was playing Lego on the floor, I was ordering Tesco online on his bed.

JH: Approach me and say “ohh mommy I want this one” (Just so happen I was on the savoury snack section)
Me: “ok sure, give me a kiss first” (Mostly I will have to begged him for it.)
JH: Proceed to kiss me simultaneously on the right cheek. “The other side mommy…” Proceed to kiss left cheek like a woodpecker.

Then he continued to play his lego on the floor and utter…”I love you mommy, I love you so much.”

Me: (-_-)” He would sold his soul for food if he could.

 

Last night’s incident.

IMG_20170427_074021_387The cutest thing about my first born is that he will always pick a toy to go to bed with him (every night he will make his pick, whether it’s a fire truck, cement truck, a bike or just any vehicle/transport toys). When I started to accompanying him to sleep, I made it a point that he would put the toys aside and have little conversation with me. The last few days, he’d been glued to the new LEGO helicopter fire rescue series that his kaiye bought for him, especially the fire rescue bike. So obviously he’s been bringing it to bed with him. Last night, while tugging him to sleep… Told him to put the fire rescue bike away first if he wants me to sleep with him.

JH: “but he needs love!”
Me: Don’t care, it’s either you choose the bike or mommy.
JH: …puts it away… and said: “I need to hug mommy first, after that I will come hug you ok?”
Me: {went all mushy… }

 

 

The sweetest boy.

IMG_20170412_135220_272One night, while feeding Junna milk, JH came over, as usual, he will bring his truck car along and started to play around (he’s very sticky that way :). So I show JN’s tiny face scar (she’d fallen earlier that day crawling), and I told him to be careful as JN’s face is painful from the fall.

His response: “it’s ok Junna, let gor gor put magic for you.” – Put his hand towards JN’s cheeck (pretend that she blows into his palm) – Clapped! – Rubbed – and place his hand on her cheeck!

OMG! My heart Melt instantly at that moment!! He’s applying the magic trick that we’d use on him whenever he complains about pain (from falling, scratching, knocking, mosquito bites… etc).

He might not be the loud, rough, (definitely noisy), but I know he’s so kind, sweet and gentle. As small as the gesture could be, I am beaming with pride.!

**P.S.: He also shares his favourite fruit jelly to his grandparents, a reward after he finishes his homework. I gave him 4, I was suppose to share it with him. Each of us took 1, then surprisingly he ran towards to his 爷爷 and gave him one, later proceed to give another one to 嬷嬷. When he return, we’re suppose toast and eat it together, I decided to give him mine, just because he finally learns to share on his own!

Mommy, can you sleep with me?

IMG_20170327_220240_047Lately, my eldest will utter these words when I put him to bed. It used to be hubbs who would put him to bed, where after the usual night routine (brush teeth, pee, had scott, emulsion & vitamins, wear his socks, say his prayers), he will sing a song of JH’s choice. Among JH’s favourite songs are:

  1. Summer of 69
  2. Dream
  3. Only You
  4. Can’t Help Falling In Love (He called this ‘Wise Man’ song. LOL)
  5. Eternal Flame
  6. Wonderful World
  7. Eelderwisse
  8. Moon River
  9. Sunshine

But hubbs had been working late for awhile now, so most of the days I gotta put that cheeky monkey to bed. I don’t know how it happen but I must have slept on his bed with him  a couple of times, and somehow it just because something that he’s attached to, even if its for 5 minutes. It just so happened that around this time, we’ve established Junna’s sleeping habit, so we can just put her in her crib (after her last feed around 9pm), and she’ll go to sleep on her own, and bless me some time to spend with his gorgor before the day ends.

It may seem like a very little gesture but I know it means the world to him whenever I spend a few minutes with him on bed before sleep. He will choose the sides he’d like to sleep on, ask me to hug him tighter, share the blacket with me, tell me what he wants for his bento breakkie etc…I don’t know when I start to appreciate this precious little time with him, but it just overwhelms me whenever I think about how fast he’s growing up and one day, he wouldn’t want me to sleep on his bed anymore.

So for now, my dear baby Ju, I will sleep with you for as long as you want me to.

Conversation with JH.

img_20170128_235542_817In the morning when I was getting him ready for school…
Me: Juju, give mommy a kiss (pouting lips waiting for his kiss)
JH: No mommy, I don’t want to kiss your mouth, I want to kiss your nose…
Me: Why?
JH: Because your nose is pretty

Sweetest thing my son ever said to her baby sister.
JH: I’m a policemen.
Me: Really? That’s great. What about Junna?
JH: Junna’s a princess. Policeman will protect princess from the bad people, right mommy?

One of those moments when he was naughty and we got so angry at him. At night, when he goes to be, as usual he resides his prayer:
“Dear God, please bless JH, JN, dada & mommy to be safe & sound, to be happy and healthy. Amen.
“Dear God, please bless JH to be a good boy. Amen”
JH: Dada, I want to say another prayer.
Hubbs: ok.
JH: Dear God, please bless JH to be a good boy so dada is not angry. Please also bless Junna to get well and so we will all be happy. Amen.

Somewhere during the end of CNY, another incident where he say a new prayer, all on his own.
“ Dear God, please bless our family to be together, so we can mix mix the vege together, because I like to mix the vege then eat the vege. Amen.
F.Y.I.: mix mix vege = Yee Sang (Properity toss)

Sometime while we’re at the lift or walking along a corridor, I will name all the fruits or vegetable and ask JH which letter does it start with… so we did that this morning.
What letter does Watermelon start with?
JH: W!
How about Orange?
JH: O!
Me: Pear?
JH: P! P!
Me: Jackfruit?
JH: J!
Me: How about Ju-Hann?
JH: But Im not a fruit…
Me: Laugh out loud.

Sleeping Angel.

She sleep like an angel.

At about 1.5 months old, she quit her midnight feed by herself gradually. From then on, all we need to do is just carry her for about 10-15 minutes (mostly) and she’ll fall asleep. We had been doing that until couple weeks ago hubbs said we should let her fall asleep on her own (instead of carrying her), just like how we did with JH when he was about 6 months old. I hesitated for a while and put it off because I know I will miss carrying her to sleep ( & also cause she’s my last baby). So I waited, but somehow early this week we decided to try it, as we try to minimize our contact with her since JH has conjunctivitis and some viral flu. We put her in the crib, we tell her that it time for bed and she needs to go to sleep. Whispering night night, we planted kissesat her forehead before closes her bedroom door.

On the first night, she fuss a little (making sounds as if pleading us to go in and carry her). We went in, she stop immediately and we decide to pat her to sleep. About 5 minutes on, she dozed off! We did this not expecting it to be easy (with JH, we did the CIO method). With her, she just made it so easy for us. Second night, 3rd night and thereafter, all we need to do is just put her in the crib, repeat those same phrases to her, switch off the light and close the door. Occasionally if I still hear her making sound after 5 minutes, I just need to go in, gave  her a few pat and she will fall right back to sleep.

Thank you baby Junna for making it easy for mommy & dada. You somehow fit into our lives perfectly when we weren’t certain how to cope with you coming into our lives. You’re truly Godsent from above. I’m so blessed to be your momma!

4 years ago today.

4 years…

It took me 4 years to realize that you’re one of a kind, simply because you’re a mirror of myself & your dada, combined.

It took me 4 years to realize that you’re somewhat timid, yet when it comes to the fun stuff, you’re fearless.

It took me 4 years to see that you’re a very sensitive boy, full of emotion and therefore sometimes incapable of controlling it.

It took me 4 years to realize that you have great empathy, just when I broke down and cry when you’re in so much pain having contracted HFMD, you stop crying and put your hands around my face and tell me it’s going to be okay.

It took me 4 years to know that you’re very creative, full of imagination and enthusiasm, maybe you didn’t know but your eyes sparkle when you talk about dinasours and loaders and construction site.

It took me 4 years to accept that you’re a late bloomer (just like your dad), but deep down I know you’ll get there (just like Arlo).

It took me 4 years to realize that I sometimes coddles you a little too much (because you were my first born), just because I don’t want you to grow up too fast…

Be it your strength or your flaws, it’s my duty to guide you to be better in life. Happy 4 years old my dear baby boy, you mean the world to me (even sometimes I’m so freakin’ mad at you). Forgive me for my ineptitude, for I am still learning to be a better mom for you & your little sister.

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{Till date, I still snick into his room and plant little kisses on his face while he’s asleep. }