Welcome, 2017.

img_20170102_183915_139

We had been super quiet when the clock strikes 12 on 31st December. We did nothing to commemorate the new year; not because we don’t welcome the new year, but after considering a year that tested much our faith, resilience and patience, we thought we could do let it pass quietly, just like everything else. That said, it hasn’t been a superlatively crappy year for us, with the birth of our baby girl, we moved to the coziest home I could ever dream off, traveled to Bangkok, Hong Kong (3 times!), not forgetting our babymoon… our life had filled with pretty amazing moments as well.

It has been a tough year, no doubt. Hubbs and I have not worked so hard in our life to provide for the family (which we vowed to work even harder this coming year). We learned, grew and attained so much in our workplace in exchange of some precious time with the family. So, the juggle is real.

But despite all these, we survived and we’re much wiser than last year. So, welcome 2017, I will grab you by the (pancake!) and embrace you with all the positivism that I have.

Christmas 2016.

This year, we spent our Christmas recovering: from sickness, work, sleep deprivation and more. Baby Junna (& hubbs, later on myself) had gotten sick since we came back from our Penang trip, she never really recover from the fever, and it has since dragged on to severe cough and flu. It has been so painful juggling our full time work schedule while running back and forth to the clinic, staying awake tending to a sick baby (and attention-deprived 4 yr old). There were no Christmas music, no decoration, no fairy lights, no Christmas movie as we were dead tired most of the time.

But thank God, Christmas came and baby Junna show signs of recovery and all is right with the world again. We had a lovely home-cooked Christmas eve dinner (with desserts and everything), spend time with cousins, wrap a pressie for JH and got ourselves some chores done.

If there’s anything this Christmas has given me, it’s I’m super wildly lucky to be with my family, have a decent job and a lovely home.

{P.S.: Our much more exciting Christmas last year.}

 

 

Growing up and Making Change.

img_20161209_092912Its’ been a tough few days since we came back from Penang. Hubbs was down with flu, and it passed on to Junna, and now my mom-in-law. Work was more hectic than ever, as e have confirmed a few more jobs in the coming year. It was also during this period that I’ve decided to embark on something that’s very close to my heart. I have no idea how to start, clueless on how to squeeze in time to work on it, let alone how to materialist it. But then I saw a quote yesterday from Ghandhi :

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

and that would keep me going. I don’t know how am I going to do it, I just do.

{I snapped this pic of my firstborn when we were at Ferringhi beach last weekend. I wonder what’s in my kid’s mind at that moment. He looked faraway at the sea, totally not distracted by the speedboat nearby, the cheering of little kids playing ball, or any of the water sports that were happening. He just seems like he’s fully immerse in the tranquility of the waves, the vastness of the sea, the sensation of the tingling sands within his toes. At that moment, he look so grown up, it’s like I’m seeing the future him in perhaps 20 years.}

 

 

Gym Joke.

Need to note this down before I forget.

Last Saturday, hubbs and I decided to do a quick workout at the gym since we missed a few walks in the park ever since the rainy season start. So, we decided to drop baby Junna at mom-in-law’s and bring along JH. This was his first time going to the gym and he did a little exercise with us including some stretching and dumbbell workout, later  hubbs and I take turns to go on the treadmill.

It was all fun for that quick 40 minutes session and I wish I had taken my phone along to snap a picture. As we go up the lift, he said: “Dada & mommy, I like to go to the gym with you, I want to go again, because you’re a wee-ner. Dada you’re a wee-ner (with lots of chuckles).” Hubbs and I burst into laughter although we know he meant ‘winner’ but it sounded more like ‘wiener’. (No pun intended). Haha (if you get the joke).

LIFE’S accessories.

Couple of days ago, we met up with an Australian lady who came to our office for interview. First glance, she looks really poised and elegant. As you look further, you can tell that she spend a lot of time putting together the whole appearance. Don’t get me wrong, she looks really pretty with her sense of clothes and her choice of accessories; and it just struck me: I’ve never spend more than 15 minutes to pick my outfit, do my make up, put myself together (before I dash out the door). So last night, I narrate this to the hubs (while carrying Junna to sleep), because I want to know, after 7 years of marriage, whether he would mind a wife who have Muji-palette clothing (mostly), a wife that does not adorn herself with accessories nor make her hair. Then he replied that he had known all of these before we tie the knot and that he doesn’t mind at all; And he said something that touches my heart: You don’t need all those accessories, you already have the biggest accessory one can have (pointing at the tiny little human that I’m carrying).

I gasped. At that moment, I know that I didn’t marry a person who tells me how pretty I am, I married someone who makes me feel beautiful and reminds me how blessed I am to be me.

Feeling Glump.

screenshot-2016-10-20-14-34-40

I have been feeling a little glump.

Usually I’m very positive and I can snap back into my happy, motivated mood pretty quickly. However, lately I just felt so drained. Every morning I wake up feeling exhausted. I leave work feeling tired and sore. I can’t wait to put my children to sleep so I can have some time of my own, but then there’re clothes to be folded, dishes to be washed, mess to be cleared. I have not spoken to my spouse for a long time (mainly because he works late too).

I want to take a day off but things are crazy in the office as my colleague is on long leave. I want to stay fit and healthy but I just can’t seem to find time. The worst thing is, I know everyone feels the same, it’s not like anyone in the family do less. We all have responsibility, we all have our wants and needs, and it’s not just me.

I need something, visually or experiential to convince myself that my problems aren’t problems if I look at the bigger scale of things; and to remind myself that life is good, that things could be worse.

Image by Anike Shahane 

4 years ago today.

4 years…

It took me 4 years to realize that you’re one of a kind, simply because you’re a mirror of myself & your dada, combined.

It took me 4 years to realize that you’re somewhat timid, yet when it comes to the fun stuff, you’re fearless.

It took me 4 years to see that you’re a very sensitive boy, full of emotion and therefore sometimes incapable of controlling it.

It took me 4 years to realize that you have great empathy, just when I broke down and cry when you’re in so much pain having contracted HFMD, you stop crying and put your hands around my face and tell me it’s going to be okay.

It took me 4 years to know that you’re very creative, full of imagination and enthusiasm, maybe you didn’t know but your eyes sparkle when you talk about dinasours and loaders and construction site.

It took me 4 years to accept that you’re a late bloomer (just like your dad), but deep down I know you’ll get there (just like Arlo).

It took me 4 years to realize that I sometimes coddles you a little too much (because you were my first born), just because I don’t want you to grow up too fast…

Be it your strength or your flaws, it’s my duty to guide you to be better in life. Happy 4 years old my dear baby boy, you mean the world to me (even sometimes I’m so freakin’ mad at you). Forgive me for my ineptitude, for I am still learning to be a better mom for you & your little sister.

img_20161017_174102

{Till date, I still snick into his room and plant little kisses on his face while he’s asleep. }

Too cute to be angry.

img_20161007_174309We went to pick up JH’s first pair of glasses immediately after we came back from HK. As much as we’re pretty bum about him needing to wear his glasses so young, he’d receive so much compliments on FB from friends & family! Hubbs said that ‘its as if God made his face to wear glasses’. I literally LOL. Haha.

So the other day after school, he somewhat was particularly whiny + moody, so I got angry and gave him a earful. But during the whole time, as I was scolding him, I can felt my heart melts into a mush of love. Why? Because he’s so darn cute with that pair of glasses!!! Especially when his tears start to stream and stayed at the rim of the glasses.

Seriously I have trouble holding myself from hugging & cuddling him, but of course I kept a straight face. Of course he apologies and I sent him to bed. An hour later, I crept into him room and give him a goodnight kiss on the forehead.

Better not let him see this, if not he’ll hold my emotion for ransom. Hah!

 

 

 

 

The Inevitable has come.

img_20160927_093340LAst weekend, we took JH for an eye check, as soon as we noticed that he constantly blink his eyes when watching the TV. When ask about his condition at school, teacher told me that there are instances when he would go in front of the white board during mini lectures.

So after an excruciating pain of 4 hours waiting queue from registration to payment, not mentioning the discomfort of getting JH to dilate his eyes, we were told that our little guy needs glasses. It’s not like we didn’t see it coming (since hubbs & I have very weak eyes), it’s just that we had been hoping for that miracle that perhaps he might skip that gene.

We can give him the world, except for perfect eyesight and it just kills me. 😥

{That moody face at the eye clinic}