For as long as I can remember, we had taught JH to say a prayer before he goes to sleep when he are able to speak in sentence. It started with “Dear God, please bless dada, mommy, JH to be happy & healthy, amen.” (We did ask him to add JN in the prayers after her birth). Then he starts school and we start getting complains from teacher about his mischievous act and we made him add a second prayer: “Dear God, please bless JH to be a good boy, amen.” Unless he’s not well, it’s been a tiny little routine that he does every single night before he goes to sleep. (Apart from making sure he choose a toy to sleep with him every night 😂).
But tonight, I made him says a 3rd prayer, saying thanks for his little cousie who came all the way from New Zealand, also made him promise God that he will be kind and gentle and share his toys with little Ru. Soon after he said: ‘Mommy, I want to see God, how come we never see God before?’ For a moment, I was stunned and speechless. My mind was scrambling trying to come out with simple explanation about how God look like and where He lives and why we are not able to see Him because He’s beyond greatness etc… I briefly explains that God is a whole lot bigger than us human and therefore He lives in heaven where its vast and huge therefore prohibits us from being able to see Him. But He lives within us and provide us every day with invisible things like power & strength such as for the construction worker to build the skyscraper; for the forklift truck to lift the heavy loads; for the road roller to built skyways and roads. (I have to use construction related materials as that’s his favourite thing in the world, apart from dinosaurs). He nodded indicating that he understand, though I can sense he was a tad disappointed knowing that he can’t meet God.
My dear JH, mommy and dada might not appear to be an enthusiastic temple or church goer, but we are a believer in God. It is with God’s grace that we have you, and your little sister, our family, a roof above our head and so much other abundance that filled our life along the way. Your name JH in fact means ‘God is gracious’ in Hebrew. We want you to know that all religion promotes good values, kindness and grace. We want you to respect the differences of each human being whether it’s race, religion or culture. Hopefully you will grow up one day, learning the ways of God and be the good you want to see in this world.
This happens couple weekends ago where all 3 of us enjoyed the garden below our condo all by ourselves. It was quiet, except it was filled with giggling and yapping sound from my 5 year old; while my one year old explore grass for the very first time…
The last pic had me weeping with gratitude and joy.
I had been working really hard for the past couple of weeks, simply because most of the projects are kicking in all at the same time. Each projects requires meeting(s), that proceeds to tonnes of coordination, that leads to loads of drawings/design that needs to be churned out. I was exhausted.
Then 2 days ago, our eldest boy woke up and started to puke. He was unwell, down with cough, fever and flu. Seeing him so weak and helpless, I knew I need to put all my work behind and focus on him. I remind myself that my family comes first and that work could wait.
And so hubbs and I take turns to take care of him and it felt good to be detach from my work and focus on my kid. With a sick kid, comes with lots of chores, your laundry time and cleaning time doubled (to ensure disinfectant is done regularly), especially after a few puking incident.
Its days like this makes me appreciate my time with them even more. It’s times like this I crave for a slower, simpler life even more.
These morning for the past week have been difficult. Hubbs and I weren’t getting enough sleep. We’re tired, grouchy and when it was topped with a whiny, grumpy kid who refused to get ready for school (especially when you know you’re going to be shit late if you don’t leave the house in 10 mins)… the house was infused with explosion of bickering, shouting, tears, and we end up ruin the morning (and our mood). Sigh.
I know he’s a good kid; compassion, friendly, kind and funny, but I have to admit that I have the whiniest kid, who would argue and negotiate his way out of all the things that I’ve instructed him to do. If he doesn’t win the negotiation, Boom!, he become this really irritable person that’s just unbearable sometimes. While I know he’s at the development stage of experimenting with boundaries and rules (especially we just sent him to a more discipline-oriented kindergarten), I don’t want to do a crappie job in setting the foundation of his attitude and personality.
…and then this morning, amidst our chaotic rush where hubbs need to attend a really really important event, this guy insist to finish his Lego truck. I heard myself nag & growl andin response he defy and insist he wants to complete building this truck. And he did, just right before we dash out the door. (Double) sigh.
Then I drop him off to school, he left the truck in the car. Then I drove to office and park my car. Then I took a good minute and observe this ‘truck’ that almost made me lose my shit this morning. Suddenly, all the angst, frustration is gone. I’m so in awe with this truck that he made. It’s proportion, symmetry not to mention the colours… I’m so proud of him!
(Triple) Sigh… the struggle is REAL. It’s parenthood, sometimes you loathe it and sometimes things like this just makes you all mushy. As our good friend Madam Lu said: ‘Tis’ the season of (parenting) life’.
P.S.: (I still love him to bits.)
Last weekend, we travel to Cat City, mainly to visit, as hubby describe: ‘Favourite person on earth, probably the entire Galaxy – our dearest Madam Lu. We were there for 2.5 days and gladly we spend it mostly with her and her family. Ohhh, we also manage to pay a visit to a dear friend’s cake house, check out her amazing sweet savoury here.
If there’s one thing to describe our relationship with Mdm Lu, its: You don’t have to be related by blood to be family, Love is enough.
Lately, work has consumed so much of me. Im constantly on my outlook, trello, CAD, 3dMax, Revit while running in between training, meetings and site walk. I don’t even have time to blog anymore. Today, I decide, work can wait 10 mins, I just want to write something that cheer me up.
I want to write about things that enchant my 2 little ones, things them makes them exhilarate and really really happy in general:
For JH (age 4 yr 9 mo) :
- Family time (basically everyone including me, hubbs, JN and himself lounging together in the living room)
- Photos of himself or his sister
- When he get to sleep on our bed
- Having the same food together, on the sofa
- Having a diaper cloth pinned over his back as a cape so he can be ‘Darth Vader’
- Watching Star Wars
- When the sky turns grey
- Eating Candy
- Listening to Randy Newman’s ‘The Time of Your Life’.
- Whenever we do imaginary play with him.
- Encounter any construction machinery
For JN (age 1 yr 1 mo) :
- Basically any food that you shove into her tiny mouth
- When dada’s home. (She started boucing as soon as he opens the door.)
- When you sing to her.
- Massage time after bath (Well i guess every baby loves that).
- Ransacking her brother’s school bag
I want to always remember this part of parenting – seeing a different magical world through my kids’ eyes.; that you don’t need a lot to be happy…
Now… back to work!
Over the weekend, we’ve decided to document some interesting art pieces produced by our eldest… Everyday, he never fail to amaze me with his creativity & wild imagination: My hair clip is a “crocodile with a big mouth trying to eat my hair’; Put 2 tiny buckets filled with water and voila, it’s a ‘rotating cement mixer’, a little towel clipped on the back of his shirt is a makeshift cape (as he pretends to be Darth Vader’)… I know in time, his imagination will wear out, as he slowly grow up to be a man, therefore I’m keeping this precious moments here in this blog and here. Do visit!
To our favourite play-mate, awesome Lego builder, human seesaws (JLB knows what that means), chauffeur/transporter, the (occasional) sitter, bedtime singer, outdoor explorer, the ‘抱抱’ provider, professional toy fixer and ‘the one who knows everything’ (according to JWB), and not forgetting the one person who always taught us to always put Mommy first in everything that we do, HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! Thank you for being our Superhero Dada!
Love you Always JWB & JLB.
Happy Hatch Day my baby Junna! It felt surreal that you’ve been with us for the last 365 days when I feel like it was just yesterday I gave birth to this little pea. I never thought that I would love another baby as much as my first born, then she came around, quiet, calm, dainty and with her four-tooth grin and her gigling smiles, I fell in love all over again.
It’s been an amazing 365 days Junna, thank you for making our world so much better.
The other night I hang around JH’s room. He was playing Lego on the floor, I was ordering Tesco online on his bed.
JH: Approach me and say “ohh mommy I want this one” (Just so happen I was on the savoury snack section)
Me: “ok sure, give me a kiss first” (Mostly I will have to begged him for it.)
JH: Proceed to kiss me simultaneously on the right cheek. “The other side mommy…” Proceed to kiss left cheek like a woodpecker.
Then he continued to play his lego on the floor and utter…”I love you mommy, I love you so much.”
Me: (-_-)” He would sold his soul for food if he could.